i can throw. i can throw
punches. i can throw out
my back as well as throw
caution to the wind, and
i can’t let this get to me.
scratches down my face
like canyons for tears,
cuts around my arms,
like tourniquets drawn
tight. and if anyone
hasn’t noticed by now,
i’m done talking about
you, you aren’t worth
another
word.
my corroded spine:
i’ll never live my past down.
my encroaching scowl:
i only operate in two modes.
my surfacing smile:
no, i will not fall for this.
my waning resolve:
it’s a quiet kind of anger.
my shifting laughter:
i can’t explain myself.
my drowning heart:
leave me out to dry.
open eyes and new thoughts,
i am not ready to talk about this.
immature and underhanded—
under this corrugated sky. but
believe me, i can’t conquer the
world. i can’t conquer myself.
in ways anger has changed me,
my grudges have met my resolve,
shook its hand, and gave it something
to rely on. i never realized what it was
like to give up, but now i believe more
than ever. don’t bother, i’m
not going to play nice anymore.
the steam rises off me, and the
slick road hisses beneath the sky.
i will get better, but first i have to
dispose of a few vices. goodbye,
love.
i’m standing alone;
a blind man that
could suddenly see.
i wish i liked what i saw.
-
i’m so close to widening the gap—
a schism between us. the sky
is greener, and i feel like a fish
in a dingy aquarium.
-
exhausted and worn down, i
can’t be persecuted for doing
necessary things any longer
without hanging myself.
i want to die a peter, not a
judas.
-
i’m dusting off my halo,
they say hate the sin love
the sinner, but aside from
my actions what am i?
-
your glowing dawn will
light my vampiric night.
i guess it’s a laugh,
or a pause, or even
a shrug of the shoulders
that defines the day.
-
delays and relapses,
i’m off of the premises.
and i hate how this all
sounds in a voice
out loud.
-
but the day needs no definition.
audacious comments, i can’t believe you.
it’s not about him at all, it’s about trust;
the sky’s clear and it’s raining o’er me.
well slam on your brakes, because
gears have shifted and i’m weeping
on the side of the road. there are
some skeletons in closets between
the lines of your writing.
-
i don’t think you really understand,
i’ve already reserved a table for two
in hell, and there’s no way around it.
-
put me on display, crucify me,
whip me, beat me, kick me, make me
bleed— but don’t you
dare
deny me.
get up, get out
of here, today.
-
eyes averted and
sighs prolonged,
i’m caught in a
pull— a tide
i can’t control.
-
“is that why you’re so distraught?”
“yes.”
more like flooded—devastated,
and nothing you do can fix me.
-
-
i’m an
eroded new moon, cratered
and cold. i’ve taken some hits,
i’ve had better days, but when
the sun sets i will forever
luminesce.
-
and glowing and sunken in
the veiled sky, i smile down
upon the people i once knew,
the ones i used to walk with.
i gaze
longingly, but i know above
all, i did the right thing.
-
you never did fix me,
but i’m alright now.